Yesterday I was really planning on posting something. Then I went from excited, to panicking, to straight being pissed off.

As I've mentioned, more than once I believe, I had applied to art school and was planning to start in the Spring Semester. There were a bunch of tedious processes to go through and they got done. I had reviewed this school years ago when I first wanted to attend and they were pretty good. The fact that it was online and had specifically geared classes towards the career I wanted were the biggest appeal to me. Later in the day yesterday after finishing some modules for financial aid and decided to just look them up again.

Of course they were a lot different this time. They were either REALLY good or REALLY bad. I don't think I saw a single review that was just okay about the school. I delve deeper and find out that they have pending lawsuits, that they may be losing accreditation due to low graduation rates and also financial aid eligibility. THIS is where I started to panic. I COULD NOT go to school without financial aid. The other problems were also bad but this kind of drove it home.

"What if this happened why I was there?"
"What if I had to drop out and be in debt for nothing?"

Those were two of the hundreds of thoughts and scenarios running through my head and this was the point where I started getting pissed off (SO MANY EMOTIONS). It had to happen now. Later that night I emailed the school representatives and informed them that I could no longer attend. I was left with the panic, the anger and the disappointment. But, I was not going to give up on getting the education I wanted. Since this wasn't a reliable possibility for me anymore, I've decided to forgo art school, at least for now, and self teach. My insomnia kicked in because of all of this so I spent most of the night researching different ways to teach myself and still have a career. Here is what I've found out so far:

• Online Workshops: These are definitely a viable option for me since they are online, cheaper than school courses, and have great reviews online and through word of mouth.  The LevelUp! Workshop from ConceptArt.Org is the first one I want to try. It's $139 for six months and has courses in a lot of different subjects I love, including ones geared towards building a career. Two other ones I plan on applying for are CG Master Academy Master Classes, which are pretty much all $699 each and The Gnomon Workshop, which is $499 for a year. I need to save up for those two. There are many options out there.
• Regimented Schedule: Another widely given tip out there is to make yourself practice a certain amount of time everyday to master techniques and hone your craft. I plan on starting to draw about five hours a day every day fixing my weaknesses and learning the basics with a new eye and seeing how that goes. I can't learn without a lot of practice.
• Free Tutorials: The internet is FILLED with all sorts of tutorials on how to draw, paint and learn the technical skills of being an artist. Pinterest has loads of resources linked in and YouTube has a lot of different videos/tutorials available.
• Books Books Books: This makes me very happy, even if it is really obvious. Last night I researched a lot of books that have helped people learn. The list is pretty long but I'll end up making a post of my favorite art books in the future when I've found out what has worked for me best.
• Don't just learn the skills, learn the business: I really believe this to be true, especially since I won't have the resources some schools could give me. Knowing the laws, how to market myself, and how the industry works will go a long way in me actually landing a job.

I'll admit I'm still filled with a little bit of panic, but I will not give up on this. I want to pursue my art career and refuse to let school bring me down. I thank all of the resources that I have available that will help me achieve my dream.

What are some ways you know of to self teach? What has and hasn't worked for you? Any feedback or information would be greatly appreciated!



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For the last few years life has been in a kind of limbo state. I never felt I was moving forward and things were just, stuck. Besides working and exercising there was no kind of structure in place at all. As of late it's been driving me nuts especially when I try to make goals and am somehow shocked when they don't work out.

For a little over a month I've been implementing journaling into my day for weekly to do lists, daily to do lists, wish lists, blog posts, mood charts, and generally to see where I'm at during the day emotionally and mentally. It's been working for me in the sense that I'm not at a loss during the day of what needs to get done, I can dump all of my thoughts onto pages, write poems and be able to recollect what has happened over the course of time and what has helped me and what doesn't work. (It also helps that I'm a bit of a journal junkie, I LOVE pretty journals)



Now that I know its a process that works for me I want to implement it in long term plans. For example:

• College Enrollment. A long and tedious process. The amount of work I need to get done before even starting can get a bit jumbled. Transcripts, class registration, talking to school representatives and all of the financial aid hoopla like getting grants, loans and scholarships. I need to make sure I can afford all of my tuition with financial aid.
• Getting Healthy. One of the most important long term changes I need to make. Since going into a very bad depression for over a year I gained around 70 lbs. In my spare time I slept and ate like shit most of the time, I can admit that. What really helped me when initially losing most of the pregnancy weight was writing everything down that I ate, what work outs I did and how many reps I did, taking progress photos, and writing down a lot of research. Doing that again may help me in the long run.
• Classes. Once starting school I'll have to keep track of my assignments, deadlines, ideas and even more research. I'm super excited to be starting school in the Spring semester but I know I'll be needing a journal with me to keep track of everything.
• Blog Posts/Videos. I love blogging, as nerdy as that sounds to some people. Being able to write about what I want and having the possibility of receiving feedback is an amazing thing to me. I like writing my posts down in a book and working it in there before typing it up. I like writing lists of blog ideas and scheduling what will be uploaded when. In the future I want to have dedicated art posts and tutorials since that is a  subject I am really passionate about and would love to see that grow. Also, I would like to start posting videos as well about art and life and just whatever makes me excited, y'know? 

These are just a few of the long terms plans I have been writing through, there are more bouncing around my head. What are some ways you like to keep organized? Do you have any long term goals? Let me know!

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Today is one of those days where you had to be productive, made plans and then none of it ends up working out. To say it was annoying would be an understatement or maybe I'm just grumpy. My daughter got sent home from school today so it kind of changed things.

I didn't want to waste the whole day so here are some things that you can do to make up for the plans!

1. Do something nice for yourself. Why not? If your schedule finally frees up and you have the time you can have a nice meal, make yourself look super nice for yourself, or any number of things that make you feel good.
2. Make lists. Some of the plans for the day may have been pretty important and had to be postponed, so make a list of what you have to get done and break it down by importance, see what can be done in relation to those events. Or make a list of things you would like to do later in the week for fun. I love being able to organize my thoughts when things seem out of whack and lists really help me with that.
3. More organization. Personally, there is always something in my house that needs organized, especially with a rambunctious little five year old. I hate cleaning but I love organizing our things and make them a new home. Usually, that means me rotating my art supplies around my desk and shelf to what I use most at the time. It always leaves me feeling accomplished.
4. Reschedule. If first you don't succeed... See when you'll be able to do it again. I was supposed to see a few friends this morning and wasn't able to push it with what was going on, but I was able to reschedule for later today at their place. If that didn't work we made plans to meet up tomorrow. Just because something doesn't happen now, doesn't mean it can't later. Be proactive.
5. Relax. When there are big changes in my day I don't know about I get REALLY bad anxiety. I know its like that for quite a few people, so do something to relax and get you in a good state of mind. Read a good book, go to the park, or get some coffee or tea. A guilty pleasure of mine is watching art videos on YouTube.

What are something's you like to do when plans change? Let me know!

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Happy Labor Day!

Over the weekend it kind of hit me that I haven't seen some of my favorite movies, as a kid, in a very very long time. Now that it's on my mind I decided to spend today watching them. Oddly enough I think only one on the list is a Disney movie (SHOCKING)!

The lineup:

• Labyrinth
• Fern Gully
• Legend
• Hocus Pocus
• Kiki's Delivery Service
• Small Soliders
• Nightmare Before Christmas

I think some of these movies were a big inspiration to me in deciding to work on my art and pursue it.  Especially, anything fantasy, magic, or superpower related.

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*Image is not mine

It's about halfway through the day, I'm binge watching season four of Grimm, drinking coffee (that I wish was pumpkin flavored) and thinking of how to even start this post... It feels like the first page of a sketchbook.

I've had other blogs before that I've felt I had outgrown or my motivations had changed. This is different. I don't want to think of it as something I have to make perfect, but as a continual work in progress where I can talk about what I want and not feel like I'm polluting someone's feed like on the social media. Somewhere that can grow and accomplish as I do. A new start.

So if someone visits my page on their own accord they know what they're in for. I don't really know what to expect, so to anyone who is following along, I just want to say, hello.




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